{"title":"Women's Tees","description":"\u003cp\u003eBrowse our Women's Tees collection. Best Price.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-astrosloth-womens-tee","title":"The Astrosloth Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChannels the \u003cstrong\u003eearly 2010s\u003c\/strong\u003e sloth meme explosion when \"slow living\" became a counterculture response to hustle culture madness. The sepia-toned space suit rendering captures that specific painterly absurdism (Renaissance portrait meets Reddit humor) that defined pre-TikTok internet comedy. Wearing this proves you remember when sloth videos went viral and \"taking it slow\" was peak rebellion against productivity obsession. For those who bookmarked \"Kristen Bell sloth meltdown\" and understood that sometimes the tortoise wins through sheer comedic timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless—like wearing a vintage oil painting that breathes. Moves with the unhurried confidence of someone who's mastered the art of cosmic slowness through earthbound comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A contoured cut with a tapered waist and standard length. The fabric has 2-way stretch (horizontal give), but the knit can cling to curves. \u003cstrong\u003eRuns small:\u003c\/strong\u003e We strongly recommend sizing up +1 for a comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e G · Wholesome Absurdist · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e This surreal, painterly portrait depicts a serene sloth encased in a bulky, retro-style astronaut suit (rendered in aged parchment cream) against a textured vintage sepia background. The whimsical creature clutches a reflective helmet, sporting a humorous shoulder patch that swaps a traditional grizzly bear for a sloth silhouette. Rusty mars red accents and driftwood grey fur complete this detailed, \"oxidized canvas\" aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47972391092402,"sku":"zmm1788074342242","price":25.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47972391125170,"sku":"exo1788074342243","price":22.54,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47972391157938,"sku":"rte1788074342244","price":22.54,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47972391190706,"sku":"sdu1788074342245","price":24.02,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47972391223474,"sku":"dhv1788074342246","price":26.6,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47972391256242,"sku":"bvf1788074342247","price":28.08,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0708\/2419\/8322\/files\/the-astrosloth-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074346"},{"product_id":"this-is-fine-womens-tee","title":"This is Fine Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlips the script on \u003cstrong\u003eKC Green's 2013 webcomic\u003c\/strong\u003e that became the internet's favorite disaster meme. The anthropomorphic flame sits calmly with his coffee while goldenrod dogs surround him in blissful ignorance (role reversal comedy at its finest). Wearing this proves you're fluent in high-context meme evolution and appreciate absurdist inversions of viral culture. For those who lived through the mid-2010s meme explosion and still quote \"This is Fine\" during actual emergencies—peak internet literacy signaling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless like digital memories made fabric. Hangs with the ironic confidence of someone who's accepted that everything is chaos—but at least the coffee's good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A contoured cut with a tapered waist and standard length. The fabric has 2-way stretch (horizontal give), but the knit can cling to curves. \u003cstrong\u003eRuns small:\u003c\/strong\u003e We strongly recommend sizing up +1 for a comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e PG · Absurdist · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e A humorous meme inversion depicts a cheerful anthropomorphic flame sitting calmly at a table against a pistachio green and dusty salmon pink background. Clutching a white mug under a speech bubble declaring \"THIS IS FINE.\", the fire is surrounded by a pack of wide-eyed goldenrod yellow dogs (staring with oblivious joy). The illustration is rendered in a rough, hand-inked cartoon style with flat 2D coloring and bold outlines.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47972391289010,"sku":"vju1788074344313","price":24.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47972391321778,"sku":"puf1788074344314","price":24.02,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47972391354546,"sku":"uoe1788074344315","price":27.71,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47972391387314,"sku":"dhf1788074344316","price":24.02,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47972391420082,"sku":"wdj1788074344317","price":25.87,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47972391452850,"sku":"zal1788074344318","price":27.32,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0708\/2419\/8322\/files\/this-is-fine-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074348"},{"product_id":"tie-dye-spacetrip-womens-tee","title":"Tie Dye Spacetrip Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBorn from the \u003cstrong\u003eearly-2010s EDM festival surge\u003c\/strong\u003e where cosmic digital prints collided with rave culture, this design captures the electric energy of a galactic nebula mid-explosion. The swirling collision of electric cyan and fuchsia magenta against deep space voids channels the \u003cstrong\u003epsychedelic consciousness\u003c\/strong\u003e of festival nights—visual proof that you've danced through dimensions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual:\u003c\/strong\u003e A chaotic yet mesmerizing fusion of cosmic tie-dye aesthetics with subtle low-poly geometric overlays. Swirling splashes of electric cyan and fuchsia magenta battle against jet black voids, with streaks of white and lime green mimicking galactic nebula movement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lightweight \u003cstrong\u003e180 GSM (5.3 oz)\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003e93% polyester, 7% spandex\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Feels like thick, soft cotton—not shiny activewear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink bonds directly with fabric molecules for zero-texture, breathable print that never cracks, peels, or fades.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular fit with 2-way stretch that moves with the body. \u003cstrong\u003eTrue to size\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100\u003c\/strong\u003e · Sweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU) · Made-to-Order—Zero Overproduction · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e PG · Aesthetic (No humor content) · High Safety\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47972391485618,"sku":"iiu1788074351717","price":28.82,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47972391518386,"sku":"zfu1788074351718","price":22.91,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47972391551154,"sku":"dny1788074351719","price":23.65,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47972391583922,"sku":"env1788074351720","price":25.87,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47972391616690,"sku":"zwy1788074351721","price":26.23,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47972391649458,"sku":"lew1788074351722","price":27.32,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0708\/2419\/8322\/files\/tie-dye-spacetrip-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074355"},{"product_id":"unity-womens-tee","title":"Unity Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChannels the raw \u003cstrong\u003eNeo-Expressionist revival\u003c\/strong\u003e that exploded across social feeds in the late 2010s when clean minimalism finally broke. The crude heart outline against chaotic crimson and cobalt scribbles triggers that specific art therapy energy (messy maximalism as emotional armor). Wearing this proves you've embraced the beautiful mess aesthetic and rejected the pressure of curated perfection. For those who remember when dopamine dressing became a legitimate response to pandemic austerity—and still believe chaos can be healing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless—colors breathe through the fabric like living paint. Moves with the chaotic energy of someone who creates beauty from beautiful mess, substantial enough for main character moments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A contoured cut with a tapered waist and standard length. The fabric has 2-way stretch (horizontal give), but the knit can cling to curves. \u003cstrong\u003eRuns small:\u003c\/strong\u003e We strongly recommend sizing up +1 for a comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e G · Wholesome Abstract · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mimicking the raw texture of heavy-grain paper, this expressive mixed-media design combines oil pastel, wax crayon, and watercolor effects. A large, roughly sketched heart outline anchors the chest (rendered in dark, gestural strokes) amidst a chaotic field of frenetic scribbles and loose cross-hatching. Aggressive patches of crimson red and electric cobalt blue clash with luminous canary yellow—accented by grassy green and tangerine orange—creating a riotous, artistic mood.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47972391682226,"sku":"lod1788074353441","price":23.65,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47972391714994,"sku":"vyw1788074353442","price":25.13,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47972391747762,"sku":"ozb1788074353443","price":25.87,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47972391780530,"sku":"kke1788074353444","price":28.08,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47972391813298,"sku":"xns1788074353445","price":26.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47972391846066,"sku":"aqz1788074353446","price":27.32,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0708\/2419\/8322\/files\/unity-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074357"},{"product_id":"thomas-the-dank-engine-womens-tee","title":"Thomas the Dank Engine Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRepresents the peak \u003cstrong\u003eearly 2010s internet\u003c\/strong\u003e era when dank meme culture collided with childhood nostalgia in the most absurd ways possible. The jarring contrast of stoic grayscale hip-hop legend superimposed on vibrant engine cyan creates that specific cognitive dissonance that defined remix culture. Wearing this proves you survived the golden age of viral mashups when anything innocent could be \"danked up\" for maximum internet points. For those who remember when Thomas remixes dominated YouTube and nobody questioned the beautiful chaos of meme evolution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless like wearing internet history instead of fabric. Commands attention through absurdist recognition (if you were there). Breathes easy through nostalgic cringe moments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A contoured cut with a tapered waist and standard length. The fabric has 2-way stretch (horizontal give), but the knit can cling to curves. \u003cstrong\u003eRuns small:\u003c\/strong\u003e We strongly recommend sizing up +1 for a comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e PG-13 · Satirical · Teen+\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e Set against photorealistic pale cerulean cloudy skies, a vibrant engine cyan steam locomotive body anchors this surreal meme mashup. The train's face is jarringly replaced by a stoic, hyper-realistic grayscale portrait of a legendary East Coast hip-hop icon (creating an ironic clash of childhood nostalgia and 90s rap). This absurd composition is detailed with a prominent black funnel chimney and bright crimson red bumper bar.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47972391911602,"sku":"hck1788074358445","price":25.87,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47972391944370,"sku":"kep1788074358446","price":28.45,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47972391977138,"sku":"ocy1788074358447","price":25.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47972392009906,"sku":"hws1788074358448","price":27.34,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47972392042674,"sku":"udk1788074358449","price":28.82,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47972392075442,"sku":"xjl1788074358450","price":24.67,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0708\/2419\/8322\/files\/thomas-the-dank-engine-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074362"},{"product_id":"vaporwave-womens-tee","title":"Vaporwave Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCaptures the exact \u003cstrong\u003eearly 2010s vaporwave\u003c\/strong\u003e moment when internet artists discovered ironic nostalgia for failed digital utopias. That bubblegum pink backdrop with classical marble bust floating over perspective grids triggers instant recognition (the aesthetic that launched a thousand Soundcloud albums). Wearing this proves you understand the melancholic beauty of Windows 95 error messages and corporate muzak remixed into art. For those who spent hours in MS Paint creating \"aesthetic\" collages and knew exactly what A E S T H E T I C meant before it went mainstream.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sourced regionally for speed and reduced transport emissions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dense-Knit 240 GSM (93% polyester, 7% spandex) · \u003cstrong\u003eEU:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight 215 GSM (96% polyester, 4% spandex)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep-Dyed Sublimation—ink uses high temperature vapor osmosis to bond directly with the fabric molecules for a zero-texture, breathable print that will never crack, peel, or fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Graphics feel weightless—like wearing a digital fever dream instead of fabric. Breathes easy through nostalgic internet deep-dives and IRL aesthetic moments with understated main character energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A contoured cut with a tapered waist and standard length. The fabric has 2-way stretch (horizontal give), but the knit can cling to curves. \u003cstrong\u003eRuns small:\u003c\/strong\u003e We strongly recommend sizing up +1 for a comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOEKO-TEX® 100 · REACH Compliant · Zero-Wastewater Printing · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction) · \u003cstrong\u003eFade-Resistant Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e PG · Surreal · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e A vibrant bubblegum rose backdrop defines this surreal, retro-futuristic collage inspired by 1990s internet culture. A high-contrast perspective grid (obsidian void black) recedes beneath an anachronistic classical marble bust rendered in stone gray and alabaster. Beside it floats a vintage user interface window framing pixelated digital cobalt mountains (a nostalgic nod to early operating systems).\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shirtwascash","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47972392304818,"sku":"fjp1788074361314","price":29.19,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47972392337586,"sku":"otu1788074361315","price":24.76,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47972392370354,"sku":"eqy1788074361316","price":29.56,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47972392403122,"sku":"hyu1788074361317","price":28.82,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47972392435890,"sku":"rqc1788074361318","price":29.56,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47972392468658,"sku":"xde1788074361319","price":24.67,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0708\/2419\/8322\/files\/vaporwave-womens-tee_1.jpg?v=1788074365"},{"product_id":"trolley-problem-womens-tee","title":"Trolley Problem Women's Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Lore\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMashup perfection from the \u003cstrong\u003elate 2010s\u003c\/strong\u003e when \"Are Ya Winning Son?\" collided with Philosophy 101 coursework. The crude MS Paint aesthetic and fedora-wearing dad peering through that doorway outline triggers instant recognition (peak boomer meme meets ethical paralysis). Wearing this proves you survived the era when every gaming moment became existential crisis content. For those who remember when trolley problems weren't just thought experiments but actual Discord server debates at 3am.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBase:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eStanley\/Stella SATW002\u003c\/strong\u003e is Europe's top ethical blank with GOTS-certified organic cotton and a refined drape that feels quietly expensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Midweight 180 GSM (5.30 oz) 100% organic combed ring-spun cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrint Tech:\u003c\/strong\u003e Kornit NeoPigment™ DTG—Oeko-Tex® certified eco-inks are jetted directly into the fabric fibers, creating a soft, retail-grade print that withstands repeated washing without heavy buildup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ink settles soft into organic fibers like philosophical weight settling into everyday conversation. Hangs with the relaxed confidence of someone who finds ethical dilemmas genuinely hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Regular fit with set-in sleeves and ribbed collar. 100% GOTS-certified organic cotton. Runs slightly large—consider sizing down for EU customers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Trust\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGOTS Certified\u003c\/strong\u003e · OCS Certified · Eco-Certified Inks · \u003cstrong\u003eSweatshop-Free Production (US\/EU)\u003c\/strong\u003e · Made-to-Order (Zero Overproduction)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRating:\u003c\/strong\u003e PG · Absurdist · Family Safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVisual Accessibility:\u003c\/strong\u003e A crude, low-fidelity sketch style (think early digital paint programs) defines this humorous internet culture mashup in high-contrast jet black on bright white. The famous \"Are Ya Winning, Son?\" dad peers in on a distressed son operating the lever of the classic Trolley Problem ethical dilemma. 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